Thursday finally

Well I have been coupon cutting...
Deal searching...
And I am still nothing compared to the ladies on Extreme couponing!


So I did this quick little survey thing of basics about me. Felt like I was back on myspace or something haha.


Favorite Shows- First 48, Missing persons,Americas got talent,Storage wars,Roseanne(Okay it might no longer be on but its a classic), Golden girls,Pitt Boss, Ice road trucker, American loggers, American restoration,Pawn stars, Pickers...I have a lot lol.


Favorite cold drink- Oooo toughy between cold coffee and Dr.Pepper.


Favorite Hot drink-Hot chocolate!!!


Favorite car or truck- I have a thing for tow trucks and plow trucks haha but really I love 69 Ford mustangs, Ford focus from 2000-2010, Nissan Altimas, Older Dodge rams, Older ford trucks and of course the Ford F350 extended cab... I have a few others too.


Favorite time of day- It depends on the day.


Favorite thing to do in summer-Tan,Tag sales and bbq's.


Favorite feature on yourself- Oh...um...my ankles? lol I love my arms too.


Favorite chore-Hanging out clothes...I feel like someone from little house on the prairie. =D


Favorite Hobby- Photography.


Favorite type of shoes- Heels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What is your favorite piece of clothing you own- This mini skirt and yellow tank top..the skirt because its the first one I bought after having kids and the tank top because its cheery and cute!


Favorite girly thing to do- My nails.


Favorite ice cream- Mint choc chip!


Favorite food- HAHA like I can choose just one.


So I am hoping Joe has an early night..that would be awesome. This heat has been getting the best of us all.
Nothing is planned for this weekend as of right now. 
I just totally caught myself singing to Arthur...the kid show...oy! It was a fav of mine haha.
Z has a speech appointment at the school Tuesday to help set some goals and such. 
My picture taking is good but my editing...ohhh I need work there. Not much else happening. Twilight is still doing good. All animals are well. All kids are well. Hubby has been testy lately....we agreed it stops or we divorce. Well obviously there was a lot more too it but we will see. Too much drama. And which sucks is I can take drama but Joe seems to not be able too. Again we will see. Hopefully it works out as when we can get along its fireworks.
Also trying some dieting. I have not gained but I am not losing either. So hopefully I can get my butt in gear. If it cools down I'd do more walking.
I got a lot of cleaning done so hopefully tomorrow can be a do the odd job type day and do somethings I have been wanting to do for awhile now.
I still have some presents I am getting together for people. Joes birthday is coming up as well.


So this whole sexting craze...OH I am going there. WTF is with it( I use fruit not the actual F word) anyway.... really? Really? Sexting? We can't leave anything up to the imagination these days? ok ok I am no innocent member here but I am married so its a little bit more okay..wait I am not saying I do LOL just stating that if your younger then 14...sexting is a little un needed. Not that I judge...but I will admit I do judge when people are selfish and bring kids into the world who don't get what they deserve from life because the parents are partying and not giving a damn. I know a lot say well sexting is better then real sex...hm if they are sexting then they are prob doing the deed as well. Plus theres the chance others see the photos...others start bullying...Theres a high rate of trouble that goes a long with it. My views are not set in stone on this topic but I do think of how different the generations are. I tend to respect everything someone tells me that is older then me...their generations had it right. Theirs was better. My parents...I listen to them a lot...I have my moments where I spend money that I know better to spend....But otherwise I listen. 
Love is criticism if you can't take criticism then you can't respect the opportunity to learn and branch out of your thinking process.
So anywho...I am off. Gotta think of dinner. I just realized..there is not one night when its just me and the kids..that I don't make something. I stuck to my parenting style I always wanted. Clean house meal on the table at every meal...now to get them to listen..since I always thought I would have good listening kids...haha


Tootles. A few pics for the time being!
=0 Much loveeee!

Kind words

Thank you all for being so damn adorable and loving when you saw my post that was very long and had some pictures in it.
I beat around the bush a lot but..I really wanted to marry into a decent family. And lately they have been acting cruel.
Thank you thank you for the kind words and realizing I do have a heart LOL you all were so sweet and knew I don't usually write like that. I don't usually do poem like things. But when you cry in front of someone that should feel somewhat of your pain and does not. They still blame you for crap you never did it gets to you no matter if your tough as nails or as week as soggy corn flakes....
So I have days I want to be a Torrey and only a Torrey but not get rid of Joe. Him and I can work wonders together..but his family...His family is off the wall stupid. I use to adore them and think this is nice..Now I think WTF did I do!!!! Sorry for this rant but some of you wanted to hear the whole story and not just the sappy side of it. I went to my sisters on Sat and had a ball. Family smiles. Family laughs. When Joes family is around its like watching the clock stop....Went to my moms today and that was fun,all the area to run and play with the kids,helped dad do a few things around the place thats nice. Worse part is I don't think I'd dislike them if they didn't make me feel the way they do. I will not bash Joes family because thats not fair to him but my emotions run wild. I am no stranger to these people yet they act like I am the bad guy....like I spent time in jail, done weed, been drunk, crashed 6 cars.....when I have DONE NONE OF THAT! I am a good parent,I try very hard. My mom loves my kids, My sister loves my kids,My nieces and nephew seem to love them, My dad loves them...so why can't my MIL shut the front door up and realize I can't be doing to much wrong. She has said how they need to get out more and blah blah. We try. I only have so much family and so many friends. I am not miss popular!
She also is another one who does not come and talk to the problem.  If I did something you think is unfair or mean or something come talk to me!!! If you think a status or blog is about you come talk to me. I am not afraid of drama,I am not afraid of confrontation! haha when I say that I think of my older sister,well my only sister hahaha she will tell off the biggest baddest guy in the room if she has too lol  her Aunt lana-Well I call her my aunt too but in all honesty she is no relation to me at all....is the same way. Tough as nails. Its fun to listen to their stories. You can't tell stories with my in-laws...either your telling it wrong or its not about Joe so they don't want to hear it. I mean my MIL got mad that I didn't take pictures at MY nieces graduation party of Joe.. EXCUSE ME? You might not know my niece but telling me she should not be the center of my pics is disrespecting and I won't allow that. Not for a second. And since then me and her have been VERY rocky. Anyhow I don't run my mouth about people...let me tell you I say my feelings from my heart but I don't run my mouth and if something is secret then it stays secret. She does not get that...I confided in her and she went and told Joe...bipolar Joe...for 6 hrs last-night I was trying to calm the guy down!!! So I am not running my mouth now,I am stating it how I see it and how I feel it. I love Joe but hes not gonna be the center of something he shouldn't be. Hes not gonna get away with things he shouldn't. PERIOD. Hes my hubby and I do tell him a lot because he also has a heart and can really relate to things and feels bad for people and we talk other peoples problems out to see if we can help them. He would do my sisters floors if she asked, he will mow the lawn for my dad, he will fix a co-workers car....He understands a lot of things like I do. We don't gossip and we don't tell people things that are none of their business AND WE BOTH CAN TAKE confrontation me better then him lol. I got cursed at my niece who means the world and I figured out the problem instead of cursing back at her or taking crap out on her or talk shit about her...no no no I said hm a 18 yr old just cursed me out.....Im getting to the bottom of this and someone will pay..and they did...dearly. =) But thats not the point we can bounce back like that...my MIL is still mad at me for my choices I have made and I am mad at her for things from 3 yrs ago. We don't bounce back. Eggs don't bounce and neither do we. ok ok I am totally lame lol but you get what I am saying, I stand for no ones crap so I'm sick of putting on a smile and at times thats with my family too because oh my lord you can cut the tension with a butter knife some days....it might be just someone in a mood or something was said that someone didn't like but blood family deal. In laws... unless they are Leave it to Beavers parents....most in laws could care less. But I do give many credit and again bad mouthing is not happening just explaining the strange sappy post I made the other day,yesterday was just me listening too,to many love songs...lol
I can be an emotional person but I feel like people could have read that and not understood at all,not got that I wrote that from my heart and my feelings and met what I wrote. And when I mean what I write it becomes poemy-sappy crap. =) But most of you really knew something was weighing on me and that it was out of ordinary and things out of the ordinary always need to be checked on even if you have not spoken to that person for a long time or you had a fight yrs ago...the out of the ordinary could be so much more... Suicide rates are up... We need to pay attention to those signs. And you all really did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It wasn't that troubling as I am a mom but I do worry something will happen to me and no one will ever really know me as a person. Why I like to be called Raven...Why my heart runs wild with love when it comes to dogs....Why in November I am an emotional wreck, Why I love rabbits, Why I cook and clean like the cleavers, Why I strive to be perfect... My photography, my style... so much people might have no clue about... I play dumb about things I know...training a dog...gosh I just play stupid like I know nothing and I've never trained one before...I make comments but claim I never knew that or something...haha good thing I have no family that reads this...they would be on to me and my convos would never be the same haha. I did have a really heart felt talk with someone that actually led me to say I love you like it was saying hello or something...I hate those 3 words.... but she made me say them so easily. I told her all I needed to and walked out,she knew I met every word.  =) Feels good when you can be so honest with someone and so down right loving, down right flat out with them and they really listen. She was raised right and we all are proud of her. No you don't need to know who I'm talking about cuz well frankly sir's and Ma'ams..its none of your business. =) Well its been a good day so I don't want to think about things at all.  I am off to get ready to watch tv with the kids. Hopefully tomorrow will go by fast. And my weekend can begin. Fun fun!
Night folks!

Left out

Seems like all I write is bull crap. Stuff that I shouldn't have to write.

I feel so left out.
I feel like I am not good enough to be someone's entertainment
I feel like someone's going back to their old ways
I feel all my hard work is going down the drain.
I feel alone..
I feel not good enough
I feel like no one will ever care for me in that way I'm searching for
I feel left out
I feel disrespected
I feel like no one knows me
I feel like all my improvement means nothing
I feel like those special moments only met something to me
I feel like those every night things that mean a lot to me mean nothing to others
I feel slightly useless
I feel unwanted
I feel left out
I grow to believe what has been told to me
I grow to believe what my mind says
I learn to ignore what I can
I learn to listen to my heart
but what happens if my heart is just not good enough for some people
what happens if my trying and myself is not good enough
this is me....I will change a little as time goes on....but otherwise this is me
I clean cook nag call talk scream complain compliment try new things have ideas take care of animals love my family ...I listen.. I conquer I learn..I do so much more
those things I look forward too I want to share that with someone
I want someone to look forward to me and those moments as well
I want someone to miss me
Someone to want me
Someone to remember me
If I die tomorrow would anyone notice?
I want people to respect me
I want people to say "Shes all I need"
I want people to trust me
I want it all and more
I want to feel like the only woman he looks at
I want to feel that heart beat every night
I don't want to sleep alone
I dont want to be put last
I dont want to be alone
I don't want.......
what I want...is here
So close....
But so far.....
No one sees my eyes hurt
No one sees my hands shake
No one hears my tears
No one hears my heart break
No one sees my hopes shatter
My dreams break
My future seems so dim
like someone turned off the lights
Someone let me down
Someone wilted my ways before I even got to them
..so much to say so much to think
how can I keep writing through these tears
Tears of happiness tears of pain....
Tears.
I feel left out.....

That surviving thought

My mind has been buzzing about things...Things that I should let go of but can't. 


A person can cry and it not be genuine. 
A person can apologize and mean it.
2 very simple thoughts..but two thoughts that have not left my mind.


When you never let a person get close to you... When you always assume you know that person even when you two have no clue about each-other because each have had a wall up.... When you don't listen to whats being said because you don't like whats being said or your not listening because that wall is up....Whats the point of pretending?


I put on this ridiculous smile, I make compliments, I am there when I am suppose to be. I try and try if someone needs help, I might fail...but I tried..thats the most someone can ask. I keep my family in check, I never come empty handed...I am on time....I try to impress...I speak honesty... I am real. I am thankful. I am caring. I know family is very important. I never bring negativity...I always bring my best. I do things I hate to do. For what? To be let down time and time again?


My family means the world to me. To be angry over something that could have been worse is dumb. If they were in my head I like to think they would love and adore me. I sat for for an hr on the way home thinking about how I could help with the skills I do have. I cried over the fact that I was not believed when I spoke the truth,how I stepped up unlike a lot of other people and quickly got over something. I acted mature...I spoke with a heart...I spoke the truth,no one had to sit there and wonder what I was really thinking or feeling because I lay things flat out for people. The complex parts I leave out but no one could handle those thoughts. 


One thing that stems from this all is the fact that no matter what you know you better then anyone. And if they don't want to take the time to get to know you then they most certainly can't judge you. If its not something you want to hear then there is no reason not to be thankful for the truth or the fact that someone tried but couldn't.


When you keep having those moments that should bring you closer and they never do... Your heart stops caring little by little. Your wall not only comes down but it goes down so far you forget these people are family and you start treating them like strangers.


I am no stranger. I am someone who has been here through thick and thin. I am no stranger. I am that one you can call at 1am. I am that one you can use as a shoulder to cry on. I am no stranger. I was born with the same genes. The same common denominator. I am no stranger. I place my hand on your back so you know I have gone no where, I make sure you never forget that I have talents,ideas,thoughts,suggestions,help to offer. I offer my talents to help you in some way. I am no stranger. I am not quiet, I am not small, I am not hilarious, I am not popular, I am not tall, I am not thin, I have a less then feminine voice, I am a advocate for animal and child abuse... I am no stranger. I may not be perfect, I may not fit your high expectations, I may not be that person that can heal your past, but am that person that never hurt you. I am no stranger. Our families may be miles apart, our families may be different ages, our families may do things differently but none the less we are family and nothing changes that. Not last names, Not distance, Not mistakes and most of all Not differences. I am no stranger. I don't judge, I listen with intent to learn and offer my thoughts. I smile to let you know its okay, I laugh to let you know "Let it go", I forgive to let you know my heart is solid, I try constantly to let you know I'm here. I am no stranger. My back has never been seen by your face...I am no stranger. 


If you had been listening you would have known those moments are the ones you remember forever. If you had been watching you would have known other peoples thoughts were not mine. If you had been learning you would have figured out I follow no one but the beat of my own path. The beat of my own drummer that only exists in my head. I say these words out loud before I type them, I hear the down in my voice that no one else creates except you. 


I have lost many over the years. Friends and family and even acquaintances that I never got to know as well as I would have liked. I have watched that clock tick by.. I have watched what happens when people put a middle person in and never hear what the  other person at the other end thinks or really even said. They just count on the distance.


Distance. Its something between objects.  That phone call you never made. That convo you never had. Those facts you heard from someone else. That compliment you might never get to say. That proudness you never get to show. Its time to cut that middle person out. Its time to memorize numbers. Its time to stop acting like we are kids.


I read books and imagine my life being like the people in it... I imagine those huge family get together. Those moments where everyone cars about nothing but that moment. Where no one cares what they get for christmas. No one cares what others make for an income. Where mood changes are common and accepted. Where no one hides things. Where people listen and be thankful.


When someone says "I don't like blank but since others like space - buy space" And you hunt for hrs looking for that blank because you feel like what they said was more of an insult then a sweet unselfish statement.... Then its time to reevaluate how you think and how you look at this world.
Those moments where you don't want to be alone and you feel alone against the world...when you feel like nothing you do is right... reevaluate the people who come and go in your life. Evaluate what people say and do for you. Cry a little. Yell a little. Throw something. Just don't always blame others. It could be others. It could be some others or everyone. It could be you. It could be something wrong. Something bothering you. Counseling might even be needed? It never hurts to wrack your brain and figure out what caused the anger and sadness.


I personally find myself angry at people who are no longer alive or even in my life. I can feel myself taking my anger out on others. I can sense my attitude.  You can not go your whole life mopping around and trying to make things about you.  You can't search for perfection when you are not even sure of yourself. You can't expect to get perfection if you do not fix the flaws.


I could go on about this depressing topic but what is said is said and when it clicks it will click. No amount of words or my time is going to make it click. I can just hope.


A few photos that mean a lot to me recently. 


A few quotes as well.


"When others seem emotional, its not over reacting but something deeper... maybe even a good bye so never take those raw emotions for granted." 

"Raw emotion is the best cure for a broken heart"

"Weak  people can pretend... Strong  people ask others for help"

"Never compare yourself to others-As you will be searching for that perfect forever"

"Speak those unspoken words before there becomes to chance too"

"To be brave means to step out of that box, out of your element and shine brighter then you ever have before!"

"Treat others how you want to be treated" "People can see through a fake personality" 










"An eye for an eye and the whole world is blind"

" Take those conversations and remember them like a photograph"

"Little boys learn the most from their grandfathers"

"When something could have been worse, Don't dwell, Dwell on what didn't happen and count your blessings"

"Say good bye each time you leave, You never know if it will be the last one"

"Fear is never ones fault..."

Enjoy your week!

No coincidence

So many thoughts are boiling in my head. 
I have not written here for awhile but its time because I am just not happy with my life.
Joe. Yes thats right. Hes not doing bad bad things but theres NO trust there between him and I. Anything he promises gets broken. If he does something he shouldn't have like nothing bad but say he leaves after we talked about it 100 times saying it makes no sense when he leaves,only cowards run away and he does..well I do something out of anger then as well because I don't know where he is or what hes doing. I have to play mom still and get no time to think or come down to earth or what ever needs to be done.
But I did figure out what his issue is. He does a lot behind my back. Money,Convos,telling people off that are my friends,naughty magazines,porn...Its like his obsession is stuff done behind my back and I figured that out today I figured out his mental state is not normal. Is he the only guy I know like this? No. Is he the only married guy I know like this. No. But he is suppose to be better then all the rest. He's suppose to be tan muscular standing out front of our house with the white picket fence....WELL thats my dream anyway instead we fight like crazy because he never thinks what he does is wrong or if I do something to make him angry or upset him he never sits and thinks about why or what would cause me to do something out of my character and upset him-He just blocks everything out. Never comes off that damn high horse and realizes "Dang" and then go from there "I hurt her" "She had a reason to be mad" "That was our agreement" or even an apology or a hug to tell me he understands. I have understood everything for 4 years. His stupid selfish actions for 4 years. He has no right to be angry at anything I do unless its cheating on him really. 
I could tell him this all. Actually I do. I don't gossip with girlfriends I go right to the source and hes all cuddly and cute then he does it again. When does this cycle stop? I am not hurt now even though I understand how much mentally he is not a husband.  I don't cry myself to sleep thats not what this post is. This post is me building up the courage to change my life now before it gets worse. He has issues.
1. Gets off doing stuff behind my back.
2. Never thinks deeply about a persons actions
3. Says one thing does another.
4. Does not understand the emotion hurt
5. Fights to easily with someone he claims to love
6. Leaves to easily.
7. Lies and hides to much.
8. Never realizes what he has.
9. Never makes it up after doing something off base.
10. Not who I thought he was
Bottom line thats throwing no punches right there.  I hate the word love. Gosh do I  hate it. And I would never had gotten married if I hadn't..*gasp* thought or knew in this case I was ick ew...in love..ew yuck w/e with him. lol but this is not love this is me always angry always something I'm not. I am hiding behind a hobby to act happy. 
On a good day I see hope on a bad day I see surrender.
There are too many bad days now. There is too much for me to wonder and doubt. There is to much bring my self esteem down. There is too much breaking us up. Not sure its a fight I wanna fight. Again this is not a mushy post,I don't do mushy but I do, do honesty. 
People assume I am angry but never stop to say "Maybe shes not as she never told me she was" No one thinks with that mentality anymore.  What goes on in my head 95% of the time will get said especially if its something towards someone or to do with someone. I am not fake. Thats where Joe and I are different. He hides to much for a married father of 2.  I have my secrets but they are not ones that would make him doubt everything about me and the relationship. He knows me. What I have bottled up probably would not surprise him in the slightest. What I find is obnoxious self esteem beating gestures that were also lied to me about. 
Another thing people never quite understand...if you don't ask then your not lying. When I am asked things I tell the truth when I am accused,I fuss up.  My husband never asks so I have no need to tell. Its not lying. If he really cared he would ask or accuse. See accusations can be an insult if they are coming from a hypocrite or a butt but if your sincere and they are real thoughts and real emotions its not an insult its a "someone cares" gesture someone who notices and is protective of their heart. He actually lies and he will look you in the eye and lie. Its ridiculous. 
I am not a drunk, I am not filthy, I don't own a pair of "mom jeans", I wear t-shirts only at night, I cook,  I have hobbies, I am not out with the girls numerous times a week, we don't nee to share the vehicle cuz where I am he is ( something cute we do only if the rest of the relationship worked),Heels and cocktails are fine by me. I am comfortable with who I am. My heart MOST the time is in the right place, I love the same shows as him, I brag, I work at what I need to change, I'm thankful, I am open minded ;-)... I hate saying good things about me but he just never seems to get those good things unless hes having a good day...and with him working night shifts good days are so far and in-between. I've been wanting for a month to get pics of him and I. Nothing.
Just too frustrating. He says he smokes for stress reasons. Funny this blog express's a lot of stress and I smoked 1 cigarette a month. Sometimes not even that. So how am I suppose to deal with my stress?  I have no escape like his coward self does.  Insults roll off my tongue but if its a good day, compliments for him are just as easy. =) But today is not a good day. This week has not been a good week. But no woe is me here,just stating. My life is not crappy it just has its moments. I need to analyze whats right and whats wrong and figure out what will and won't work.
Simple. Not soap opera. Just reality.


Tomorrow..ta da! Is my dads 81st birthday! Woot woot! We are going up and of course I will be taking lots of pictures. I am making a trifle dessert  and my mom is making the meal. Can't wait! Hopefully it will be a good day. Wish I could have gotten him something.
Then Sunday is a trip to Bennington.  Oy! Busy busy now only if I had a man by my side!
Getting more angrier the more I type so I am off!
Write more often I hope.

Fun in the sun

Yesterday was a blast,Got together with my bestie and her family. She does things a lot like me. I am just a goof at times and little more brain dead as my memory is a bit slower haha. The kids were so cute,We need to live closer. I like giving and buying gifts but sending them is expensive and gas is so high along with Joe not liking MAss for his own reasons. I am not clingy but I do love giving and if someone says they need something or not I am going to help out at what ever cost. I would want the same for myself. So anyway Z was not fond of her dog but if she saw him more often I bet she would warm up. Stefano adored him. Z has been talking more today so I'm wondering if it was because of her daughter talking when they were here and shes 3 days older. I took lots of pics because those are memories! Photo albums and framed shots are what we can remember things the best by! I know that I look at my family pics all the time to remember my niece at a young age who may I say got into the college she wanted!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! I look at pics of my brother,or my uncle,me when I was younger. Its fun.
We had lunch,love cooking big. No pork because I like to have a theme and it was Beef!!! Bring on the cow! Next time it could be all Italian food,you never know with me. The kids were busy busy. Stefano got a thomas the train that hes playing with right now and Zueda got a carriage and doll. Of course she already poked an eye out on the doll but she still likes her! My Z is pretty rough so it was nice to have a little one around that was a little less rough and more girly haha they complimented each-other nicely. Stefano shared with her daughter from the start which was cute as he does not always get a long with his sister so I was a bit nervous about that.
The girls switched sippy cups at one time and even were having their own convo at one point where her daughter would ask for the soda can and Zueda would go get it. It was like they were in their own little world. Sadly Zueda has no kids to play with. I don't want to force my kids on my youngest niece because shes quite a bit older and summers are busy and my sister and I just don't seem to get together as often as we probably should. So it was great to have someone drive up and see us all. Joe likes her fiance so that was great well Joe gets a long with anyone who is nice to me lol.
My nephews party is coming up and I need to figure out what to get him. Sadly Joe has been doing his money spending thing again and saving his money for his pocket. If I don't have something for my nephew Joe will have one less body part!!!! If walmart had been more stocked I would have gotten my niece more for her bday but walmart was going out and I could barely find anything.
Anywho back to yesterday, my cats are not dog friendly which makes me nervous as I hope to get a dog one day. Frosty didn't like him but he kept coming around where 2 of my cats we didn't see all day because of him and thats just not cool,so they need to warm up to dogs.
Her oldest daughter is a gem,I'm sure she has her moments at home but here she was well behaved-of course I have very few rules at my house. No rudeness, no animal abuse,no stealing...and a few others but thats about it. Nothing to worry about. I just want you to be yourself and ask anything. I likely have an answer or what ever you need.
Once they left the kiddos went down perfectly for a nap.
Now this weekend is a trip to West VA. I wanted a little point and shoot so my expensive camera could stay here locked up and safe lol but didn't find anything cheap enough yet worthy enough. I am hoping Joe gets Thursday off so he is not diving to NY all tired where from there his mom will be driving. Its 6hrs from NY.
I am nervous but have calmed down a little. I wan to enjoy this trip as some sketchy stuff out back of our place has me all worked up so getting out of town might help. Being with family will too. Hopefully though no one tests me. Its been done before with this side of the family and this time with dealing with as much as I have I will be taking no crap. Joe is too help me,be supportive,be there for family and not drinking. Etc.
I have the neighbor watching my animals. If my house is torn apart I will be furious. I know snowshoes can get really rambunctious if he does not go outside.
Got a lot on my mind lately. Might tell Joe to bring home mcdonalds so I can sit up with him and just vent a little when he gets home. I am worried that my kids will not be well behaved. Most the time you wait until the kids are older to do trips like this,well you try too anyway. They want my kids to go to church and everything for the first time....YEA have you met my kids? They don't sit,they don't be quiet when you say and they are well...3 and 2!!!! Ugh!
FB is acting up which is getting on my last nerve!
WEll gotta run and get the kids dinner. Hopefully my anxiety stays under wraps. Just so sick of seeing cops around my place dealing with people. I want to feel safe! Ah well. I can do this.
I want Joe back on days but hes all against it,at first he was just like we will see and blah blah but now hes like noooo and his boss said a few weeks its been like 6 mos with him on nights. I can't deal with it much anymore.
I'm off
heres a few photos
Tootles

Affordable ways

Quote: "You do not have to be rich to be a stay at home mom, Lets step back a few hundred years when stay at home moms was all there was...And back then people had more morals,self control and respect...Lets consider that before we assume people with financial problems should just jump on to the working band wagon." -From a  Mom I know. Met a lot to hear her say that.


If we all stop buying those adorable toys in the store for our kids that are not on sale...we could save.

If we grouped all our shopping into a once a month trip,our gas tanks and wallets would start to see some extra cash.

Make a coffee at home,there are some awesome recipes online of how to even make a special caffeinated drink in the morning. Lets cut out the dunkin and starbucks and start saving some bucks.

Budget budget budget.

Take your hobby and expand too see if you can make money off of it. Those little things you make for friends and family could bring in some money. Those pictures you take,imagine them in frames in someone's home. =)

Coupons, places that double coupons and sites that you can print coupons off of. Brilliant for those little runs to walgreens or a budgeted trip to wal-mart.

Freecyle and craigslist. We know about the sites but how many times do we end up saying "I dunno...I think I'd rather have it new" Thats fine but sometimes waiting you can find it cheaper. And sometimes people don't use stuff they buy so its like new.
Which brings me to time..Your going time? What does that have to do with finances...  My husband has this really big impulse to buy something the minute he sees it instead of doing some shopping around, Yes its a pain and it takes time to go to a few stores or a few sites but you never know who will have it cheaper. Also waiting until the end of a season helps, that long sleeve sweater you want will go on sale at the end of the season so they can bring in their summer items.

Dollar bins! We all know what I am talking about. I have found them at: Target,Michael's, Iparty and K-mart.
And lets not forget dollar stores, a lot of the time people panic and say they want name brands,well name brands tend to not always be cheaper at dollar stores. Again its one of those get to know the prices,get to know the store...OWN the store haha. Try to remember how much Tide is at Wal-mart compared to Dollar general or something.

Animals. Sometimes life throws us curve balls and we discover its getting harder and harder to afford our beloved pets food and such. Some not all but I know mine does,Humane societies or rescues or anything like that offer applications you can fill out and donations will go towards you, I believe its only once a month or when ever you really need it. But any little bit helps. Lets not forget that the little things add up.....

Which takes me to my next point...those little things we buy and mumble to yourselves "well that wasn't bad for a drink" or "Cheaper then bringing lunch" or something. We are gonna do a little math.

Coffee in the morning from dunkin- $1.99(I am doing the lower end of prices)
Snack from the checkout line of a store- $ 1.99
That soda you picked up- $2.99
The candy bar-$1.00
Gum-$1.00
Lunch because you forgot yours- $5.99
Another soda for the end of the day -$2.99
Mcdonalds because you already know you don't want to cook when you get home- $14.00
Add it up. You do that 3 times a week and what do you get? $95.85........

So lets fix all these problems.
Snacks. Buy them at the beginning of the month for work or what not. Granola bars,the boxes of individual chips,string cheese or the new Kraft 100 calorie cheese packs,Containers of veggies or fruits...the list is endless

Drinks-Bring your own. If you like soda walmart has cola 24pks for one of the cheapest prices. Stock up when its on sale. Or you can bring your own bottle thing and put crystal light in it,lemonade,water...Simple things.

Ah the sweets- A lot of the time little debbie had $2/4 or you can buy in bulk at BJS,Costco or bigger places like that. Bake a little more. Good way to incorporate the kids.

Gum-hard to avoid but a bag of peppermints or a hard candy has more quantity for the price.

Lunch- Again sometimes those rushed,hectic,not going smoothly mornings throw us off our game plan. Try the night before to make your lunch up. Try to buy things you can just grab just in case of one of those mornings. Yogurt,pudding cups,keep cut veggies in your fridge at all times, it sounds silly but grabbing literally what you would need for a sandwich and throwing it in your bag and making the sandwich at work or where ever you may be can work also.

Dinner-Oh,I could talk and talk and talk about this. Crock pots!!!!!!!!!!!! Make it in the morning and bam! Simple meals. One skillet meals. Fast meals. Rachel ray is a really good one to follow for her success in short timed meals. Save the fast food and outings for the weekend or when that extra money is there to spend. =)

Want a little extra cash for those birthdays coming up???
Check these sites out.
www.chacha.com- You can be a guide. I would love to explain every site but time is not on my side as a mother of two haha. So ask if you have any questions.

www.mysurvey.com- Your opinion does count. Even though it does not add up fast it does add up and thats all that matters when it comes to money.

www.Mypoints.com- Adding up a little faster then others. Simple buy from nominated companies,click the link in an email and gain points. Sign up for their credit card and get amazing amount of points that you can then redeem and get say a gift card to wal-mart or home depot and many many other things.

Medical transcription is still needed and wanted. With a few classes you can be working from home. A little demanding but if you have an amazing support system it should be a great investment to your family.

Chuck roast...have the butcher grind it and it ends up cheaper then the regular hamburg. Now my Hannafords has hamburg on sale a lot,they have yellow stickers that say how much off it is.

Pasta sides are coming out with a lot of new kinds less sodium and go with a lot of different meals.

Make big meals and freeze them.

Try to buy fruits when they are in season,they tend to be a lower price. Something like berries when not in season the unsweetened frozen kind does wonders. =)

Sometimes over time we stop watching shows we use to watch and that means we might not watch the channel as well, go over everything and make sure theres not a bundle or a channel set up thats cheaper. Will lower your bill.

Being efficient-Helps the earth and your wallet.  Shut the lights off when your not in that room, Getting a motion detecting outside light, not leaving the tv on as back ground noise (I do for my anxiety but thats a diff story) unplugging appliances you don't use helps too. I don't always use my toaster oven so I just leave it unplugged.

In winter shoveling the snow up against your house has been proven to insulate better and cut down on your heating costs.

Tagsales!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

Watch websites for deals that you may not get in the stores. Also sign up to receive stuff in the mail it never hurts and a lot of the time its coupons.

A lot of companies want you to at-least try their product once so if you go to their website sometimes they will send you a coupon or even the product its self.

When you have a bad experience or something with a restaurant of any kind go to their website. Most the time they really listen and will give a gift card,coupons or a meal on them type of stuff.

Short list of rules I have made for myself when shopping- (unless in desperate need of an item)

Chicken- I never pay over $1.99 a lb for chicken breasts-But most of us know in bone chicken is less expensive

Shredded cheese-Never pay over $2.00

Cereal- Never pay over $3.00-This one is very hard. It depends on how much you like cereal.

Hate making dough  for pizza but hate the prices of frozen pizzas? Pillsbury dough!

Have a bread maker laying around. Making your own bread is healthier and cheaper!

AND Store brands are just as good! I happen to love the store Aldi's, Their stuff a lot of the time is other name brand items but in disguise lol. Now sometimes store brand never cuts it but in basic stuff it usually is fine!



There are lots of other deals in bigger cities with more choices in shopping but this is my list from someone who has no costco or sams club,or anything.  I might even be forgetting some things.

I am still learning myself as I am 4yrs out on my own,STILL lots of time to grow and find new stuff and new tricks!

Theres a show on TLC called extreme couponing-Try and catch it!



Much love!