Or have we gone back a little? I have been thinking...Been watching...I got a few topics I want to discuss...
Kids and stores...Does anyone really know the proper way to handle a tantrum in a store? Is it fair to the kid to be punished for habits we might have created? Like allowing them to have candy every time we check out or buying a toy some of the times before with no reason but to shut them up? Is it fair to other people to listen to our kids? Or should they just deal with it? Two sides with very good points,pros and cons.
I don't like people to listen to my kids but I also discipline the store BUT not to shut them up. Lost you didn't I. Its not my job as a mom to shut my kid up. Its my job to negotiate and find out why they are upset or throwing the tantrum. My job is to remain calm because theres WORSE situations to be in. If I got mad or stressed over a tantrum then what would happen if I got robbed or my car stolen,I'd die from the stress. I also don't pay attention to the people around me, I dont want to feed off their negativity or their judgment of how I am handling the situation. If the tantrum does not stop or the misbehaving does not stop, removing them from the store is my go too thing. Thankfully I never started habits. The thing with my kids is wanting to walk and then running around the store. They have so much energy they see open space and run, so listening is my key to having them behave in the store. Something my kids should know already. They never whine at the check out, they could care less about the toy isle...and they are fed before we go to the store so they don't ask for food..I have avoided half the normal reason for tantrums. As we walk in we tell them that we will be quick so that it will then be back to kid time(which means the park or going outside at home). Now do I get mad when other peoples kids are screaming at the top of their lungs or crying? If they are a baby crying, I do a little because I feel like there is a reason so why are you not fixing whats upsetting him/her. Food,cold,hungry.... I always went even to the store prepared when they were infants/babies. Otherwise I just continue my shopping and MMOB(Mind my own business). They didn't plan to ruin a shopping trip, the devil did not put is in the same store to stress us out and to act silly by rolling our eyes or passing judgement on the parents. So I am not going too. Sometimes I wonder why parents do things but thats because I do things differently, I am not judging I am analyzing and figuring out other peoples ways. If I disagree then thats okay. Not everyone is alike.
Next has anyone seen the mom who was on Dr.Phil who gave her kid hot sauce and a cold shower for lying? She is now on trial for abuse. But someone brought up a good point,the kids who were more disciplined seemed to become better adults. Not sure I completely agree with that one but then there is another statement made saying that there are other worse ways that people go about disciplining. Spanking, Soap in the mouth, locked in room, Crazy things no one wants to even think about and no one seems to catch those people. Why? Because most think what they do is fine. She was reaching out for help saying she felt like she was an angry mom. Thats exactly what her family needed was for her to admit she is wrong and needs some guidance. Do I agree with what I saw on that video of her and her child? No. A child lying about something so small and getting such punishment is dumbfounding. I know people use TINY amounts of hot sauce for kids who spit,talk back,swear...bite... and I think personally its each parents choice. I talk things out before I take any measure. I talk talk talk the kids ears off. "What you did was bad" "That was not nice" "You don't see mommy biting anyone" Etc. The cold shower. I have no nice words to say about that. I do want kids to be a importance to society and not a menace. I don't want people paying for their jail cell. Do my kids need to be perfect when grown up,No. But I don't want people to fear them, cops to be hunting for them, I don't want them to be a menace to society. I want them to be respectful of their elders and people with disabilities. I want them to be accepting of cultures,religions,races,sexual preferences, styles...so on. Will I discipline with time outs and stern looks to attempt to have my kids grow up to be something more then just a lump on a couch or a number in our jail system? Absolutely
I agree with things that were done back in the day. Parents in older generations had it correct. Crime was down. Respect was demanded. Kids thought with their imaginations. Kids were kids. Sticks and stones not Ipads and cellphones. I realize its hard to get that back today but I can try with living in the country. Toys are not # 1...using resources, doing things for the planet..and much more come before tv and technology. I raised my kids to entertain themselves are car trips with toys and what they see out the window,songs, and basics. No dvd players in my car. I judge no one. My kids act different then others. Some parents need that dvd player to survive that 18 hr trip. =)
If you have not seen the show scared straight that is aired on A&E..It shows the types of kids and their thinking today. It teaches these kids that bad is not the only road to go down. It scares them into realizing that jail is not fun. That their attitudes with get them in trouble one day. I am one with an attitude but I watch where I have that attitude with todays ways. People will shoot you if you cut them off. People will shoot you for not giving them a job. People will shoot you for wearing the wrong socks it seems. I keep my attitude under wraps for the most part, I keep my voice heard but in a different manner then I would have 4 or 5 years ago. Things change and so have the people. Its sad.