New changes

• I deleted my yahoo account that I have had for...9yrs...that was hard it was even named after my bunny.
• I discovered the truth.(That will come later on in this post)
• Trying to overhaul this place to make it more cozy.
• Joe and I are trying a new path and if it does not work- Its the bid D time for us. I will explain in this post.

So not big big changed but stuff that makes life feel off the tracks..Makes life seem like its winning at kicking my butt when really I am just taking control of it. I just need to get use to change.

First and foremost..My family. I have spent 2 weeks going on 2 and a half weeks working with people trying to figure out why I got cussed out by my niece and why my sister well would like to see me in a body bag lol. Turns out for a whopping 2hrs there was a post up that did nothing but bash my sister and her living arrangements. I will explain as much as I can. A friend of mine finally FINALLY came to me and said listen I saw the post but when I went back in to make sure it wasn't you who wrote it,it was gone. So I started talking to her and she told me what she could remember about it and said she knew it wasn't me by the typing,by my anger over something she knew I only knew very little about(that would be Jakob,my nieces dog) She goes "Hillary you have met Jakob once,I knew there was no way you were angry over anything involving him"& "You have never wrote about your sister negatively until that post so I knew something was up or you were on some type of drug" she Lol'd.THANK GOODNESS someone knows me,she was just scared to come to me as she thought possibly Joe had written it and then bam it would be a killing in my house.Once she realized it didn't add up to be Joe she contacted me. Let me know what she saw let me know what she could remember. I'm sitting here thinking and thinking and thinking...then it clicked! An old diary! Then one thing led to another,some research,some stalking I admit. Some thinking and recapping and BAM I realized an old enemy who had always had my old and I do MEAN old blog and a diary I wrote with her and a friend,I realized some of the stuff written was in that diary from when I was 14! At 14 I hated the world. Nothing about Jakob,nothing about how my sister treated animals,nothing that she wrote was in it. But I did love simba and he was in there if I remember right I wrote something like "Simba is so fun but he jumps so much but anything is better then the dog next door i think its a doberman and he always looks so mean when i watch the kids during the day i dont let them out back as the dog scares me" I wrote "I cant stand greg from up the street he wants to hang around whitney who wants to hang around me when I am watching my niece and nephew and i cant stand that as then my sister gets mad at me" Things 14yr olds write. Well some little %^$%^$&^* who is mad at me for being happy! Jealous about my kids and husband. Decided a nice prank would be okay. GUESS WHAT it ain't. I know she can still read this unless she is too ashamed to show her face and if she can. I dare you too test me again when it comes to family. I literally thought my sister was either losing her damn mind or lying when all it was,was a 20yr old playing games. My pwd has been changed. I am trying to rekindle relationships. I am keeping this a secret as what is done is done. She did something unethical,stupid,childish and she thought she would get away with. I will be the better party and not say her name but if anyone asks I will...I will tell them exactly who they are. I can't stand what happened. People are feeling low about how they acted,apologies had to be made,thanksgiving was a tad awkward because of all this. And it was just a prank to you? Nah don't meet me,Don't let me see you... I complained. I vented about something I shouldn't have the only thing I thankfully did not do was snap back at my innocent niece. The minute I finish writing this I will try to forget. I will move on. I will go back to blogging about what I want too. I will stay the bad guy if I have too. Its not worth any stress. Mystery Solved. I win again baby.End of it.

Joe and I are rocky. I want a change or a divorce. That simple. Who I let down is who I let down. End of it.

Cassey did not work out because he made my anxiety worse. I am still a huge animal lover and I think before I act which is why I always do a trial first. He already has a new home. =)

I moved my living room around and love it so now I am trying to get the same vibe in the rest of the house that you get from the living room now. Easier said then done when you have no space and no money.

Still no food-stamps. How they can make us wait like this because they switched their computers around and their system is not our fault so how can they make us wait. 13 days with no food-stamps the food supply is low. All thought I am bummed it will get better and I am not going to tell everyone and ask for pity unlike my stupid husband keeps doing....something that must change. I hate that. I hate saying things to get people to give or feel bad for us. 

He took my truck again..his car all of a sudden is not good in snow. BULL. If his dad hadn't been a sweetheart and bought it for us he would be telling me how amazing his car is. But hes controlling,jealous and selfish. Something again we have too work on.

If anyone notices he does it not me. So please dislike him not me. I try hard to indulge in other people. Listen to them.Talk about their life and stuff.

OH and how he acted at my sisters almost made me hit him over the head with one of her kitchen chairs. Walks right in and starts just grabbing stuff like "I'm taking one of these" or what ever he did it so meanly and rudely. I took as little food as possible and drank as little as possible. He did not. He acted like he hadn't ate in weeks. Hes always good with the kids BUT he just comes off like..well...a big fat obnoxious jerk. Completely made me just realize..we gotta talk before I never take him anywhere again. And that he must have been raised in a cave! I love him. And we have come a long way but there is still things that just need too stop. My family comes first and for him to act like that was unacceptable.

I go thursday for my Depo shot. Another 3 months down.

Well think thats enough writing for tonight. Will post tomorrow about how the talk between Joe and I goes and things.

Much love

Tootles