Saturday, December 4, 2010

In todays news

Hello!
So much to update on!
We just went shopping to get the kids some new toys courtesy to their Grandpa. Joes looking up upgrade his tools as below I will show you that hes trying to build Thumpy a little house for winter.
Biggest news is my new truck! Its a 2000 and my first car was that so we automatically have a connection. Its a suv technically and its the same as my old one but nicer,newer and a diff color! I will have a pic below of it.
I still hate Joes night shift lol. More money or not I hate it.
Joe is getting his car aligned as I type this so hopefully he will start using that a bit more. Now with the safer truck he wants to visit his family more but I refuse to go unless he gets his Mass thing taken care of and we can go that way instead of through gangville NY not the real name its just full of gangs and I feel like I need a 22 to get out of there alive. Thats the thing with Joe something that should be happy and a good time and bring us closer will separate us because he listens to no one or cares about anyone really. Today he fought with my in Walmart in front of people told me he was trying to get away from me..VERY embarrassing then left without me...YUP thats the kind of guy I am dealing with. He came and apologized after once he realized there was no need for a fight and that I was right...but that does not change the fact that he just wanted to fight instead of listen or talk out the problems right then and there. So all of that caused us to get home after my mom showed up and left again because she couldn't understand where we were. So I am hanging out by myself now. If we can not work on how to be a normal well functioning couple I am through. I have had enough guys not know how to communicate and said sorry way to much-when they wouldn't have had too if they had just taken a moment and thought.
We each also got 50 bucks from Joes dad and I haha went and bought what I am always buying! Thongs...HAHA sorry but thats just me. I love underwear and lingerie I can't help it! I also bought knee high black heeled boots!  And Joe bought a carton of ciggs....and now has no money for a drill....Ugh! Pisses me off. I thought some things would be a wake up call for that guy but nope. I know it has been for me. I try to eat healthier,keep the air around my kids and I  healthy (HARD to do when you have a smoker around you!!!),keep things clean,take care of ourselves....You get the picture.
I dunno I just want to kick back and love my family and Joe makes that very hard too do...And I am not sure if I should take that into consideration...I wrote him this huge FB message a few days ago...WHICH I never do and thought he would really understand and maybe get how just off the wall upset I have been with his actions..NOPE 5am he gets up for a cigg...WHICH he never did before...today he fought with me over nothing...won't take care of himself..he looks like a damn wolf man since he has not shaven or taken a shower in over a week...YES this is what I live with. I'm gonna be buying more lingerie and hes not going to be the one seeing it,if he don't get his head on straight! Venting. Its not that I don't adore and love him. Very proud of him for this job and not having a hissy that his dad bought a truck what I say for the kids but for me and not Joe...BUT the not being attractive,and the whole smoking and spending money things have to go! On top of the already porn addiction thing...I'm having a rough time. I am a little too cute for someone to go to porn. NOT being cocky,I just know that I am not wearing turtlenecks and mom jeans...I got meself heels,leggings and v-neck sweaters baby!
Of course another thing on my plate is my body is so stressed and not eating right-like not full meals right because food-stamps CUT us off due to Joe not turning in something so now we have to wait before we can have food in our house. I am barely finding enough to feed the kids but they come first so I will eat PB if thats all we got.Lol. No joke I am not wanting a pity party,like Joe went on and told everyone about it. I am fine with waiting and seeing how we do. Its my body who hates it lol. And so my period is all messy,I know I know..I usually don't have one but this month I do and its spotting...ANNOYING! I think its over then BAM I am not. I hate that crap. I get the shot between the 10th and the 24th-that is if Joe makes the appointment...Last-month he stole my health insurance money...*sigh* I married the wrong guy. I feel guilty about it I feel ashamed....I cry more then I have ever cried in my life over this... BUT I don't want to talk about it or go there.Again I don't want anyones sympathy or pity. Just letting my mind roll and my fingers type.
I gotta do some more cleaning. Still no vacuum. I might lose it before I actually get one. I vacuum about 3 times a week and a dust bust 2-3 times a day...so not having either is sending me over the edge.
I bought some pampered chef at my moms party. Can't wait for it to come in.
Lets see I want to re-do our bedroom decor(we can't paint) when tax money comes. I feel like its not really a calm relaxing place....
I really want snow! I have pictures to take. Been slacking there. A lot of normal,every day,set up type pics instead of nature. Still sticking to my no editing rule lol.
I am absoutly in love with freecycle.org! We might be getting two recliners. =)
Also I am over people acting like they are poor but really are not....you cant keep your same habits and then expect to pay things on time and get yourselves caught up. Jeeze.
Ah I feel better. Anyway leaving with some pics and off to clean I go!

Tootles!

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