You know how you try being the better person but you hate being the better person so then you wonder if its still the right thing if what your doing you really hate and wish you didn't have too? Lost ya didn't I? Drama is not drama in my eyes its a bunch of la de freakin' da. People talking. People stretching the truth. People over reacting and sometimes drama is real its emotional its honesty its loud its opinions. You try to be the good person and stay out of it or not say anything mean... well let me tell you a little about me..when I am angry I have done REALLY dumb things. I get angry to the point of no return. Theres times I know I need either meds or a straight jacket...but everyone is fine when I'm like that. No one tries to make sure I am never angry or too not friend me because of it fight with me...BUT the minute I am being nice,no fighting,no attitude,maybe even a little emotional,supportive...BAM the worms cum out of the can! Got someone mad at me for something. Got people deleting me. Got people calling me stuck up. My husband tends to walk away..Huh!?
I open up on here and I ended up with people mad about it but then I am bluntly honest or pretty much hey this is how I do stuff like it or not...and people adore me. Again huh!?
Its like pushing a wall that has the ocean behind it.... Its like nailing pudding to a wall....the whole picture is missing that one taco to make it a combination plate...
People are more intimidated by me when I show emotion. Eh. Fools. I'm more likely to go off the deep end before I cry. And when I do cry...I don't want anyones attitude that makes it worse.
Today to people crying is just nothing...its someone trying to get attention..BUT some chick who is lying about being engaged or pregnant or flirted with your man can be believed. A guy who says shes just a friend when he has a hickey can be believed but tears are not strong enough to wake people up anymore....? That bothers me.
When my kids are in pain or crying or trying to reach out I want the whole freakin world to reach back...
So as many of you know I do the 365 project and this weeks theme was Hope. I have been working for 3 days and will continue tomorrow to get a photo that means a lot to me and really expresses what hope is to me. Hope is not something that is common in my world or my thoughts so I took this very seriously. I have many thoughts in my head but I will not enter them all or post them all but I will take the shots.
As I type this my kids are fighting,my living room looks like a oompa loom-pa threw up in it...I have my room full of stuff that needs to go in the attic even though theres to much up there already...Wheel of fortune is on in the back ground....I have cats running around because they are tired of being cooped up...Welcome to my world. But by 9pm all will be clean,all will be calm and I will be trying to go to sleep as when Joe comes home hes home for 3 nights. Love Thursdays.
Ah love...I need to learn to do more of that. I need to embrace more of what I like...I need to relax more and not get so heated over such small things. I need to just sit and be okay with what is going on around me or fix it so I am not so wired.
We shall see. for tomorrow. TGIF.
Few photos.
Tootles
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