Kind words

Thank you all for being so damn adorable and loving when you saw my post that was very long and had some pictures in it.
I beat around the bush a lot but..I really wanted to marry into a decent family. And lately they have been acting cruel.
Thank you thank you for the kind words and realizing I do have a heart LOL you all were so sweet and knew I don't usually write like that. I don't usually do poem like things. But when you cry in front of someone that should feel somewhat of your pain and does not. They still blame you for crap you never did it gets to you no matter if your tough as nails or as week as soggy corn flakes....
So I have days I want to be a Torrey and only a Torrey but not get rid of Joe. Him and I can work wonders together..but his family...His family is off the wall stupid. I use to adore them and think this is nice..Now I think WTF did I do!!!! Sorry for this rant but some of you wanted to hear the whole story and not just the sappy side of it. I went to my sisters on Sat and had a ball. Family smiles. Family laughs. When Joes family is around its like watching the clock stop....Went to my moms today and that was fun,all the area to run and play with the kids,helped dad do a few things around the place thats nice. Worse part is I don't think I'd dislike them if they didn't make me feel the way they do. I will not bash Joes family because thats not fair to him but my emotions run wild. I am no stranger to these people yet they act like I am the bad guy....like I spent time in jail, done weed, been drunk, crashed 6 cars.....when I have DONE NONE OF THAT! I am a good parent,I try very hard. My mom loves my kids, My sister loves my kids,My nieces and nephew seem to love them, My dad loves them...so why can't my MIL shut the front door up and realize I can't be doing to much wrong. She has said how they need to get out more and blah blah. We try. I only have so much family and so many friends. I am not miss popular!
She also is another one who does not come and talk to the problem.  If I did something you think is unfair or mean or something come talk to me!!! If you think a status or blog is about you come talk to me. I am not afraid of drama,I am not afraid of confrontation! haha when I say that I think of my older sister,well my only sister hahaha she will tell off the biggest baddest guy in the room if she has too lol  her Aunt lana-Well I call her my aunt too but in all honesty she is no relation to me at all....is the same way. Tough as nails. Its fun to listen to their stories. You can't tell stories with my in-laws...either your telling it wrong or its not about Joe so they don't want to hear it. I mean my MIL got mad that I didn't take pictures at MY nieces graduation party of Joe.. EXCUSE ME? You might not know my niece but telling me she should not be the center of my pics is disrespecting and I won't allow that. Not for a second. And since then me and her have been VERY rocky. Anyhow I don't run my mouth about people...let me tell you I say my feelings from my heart but I don't run my mouth and if something is secret then it stays secret. She does not get that...I confided in her and she went and told Joe...bipolar Joe...for 6 hrs last-night I was trying to calm the guy down!!! So I am not running my mouth now,I am stating it how I see it and how I feel it. I love Joe but hes not gonna be the center of something he shouldn't be. Hes not gonna get away with things he shouldn't. PERIOD. Hes my hubby and I do tell him a lot because he also has a heart and can really relate to things and feels bad for people and we talk other peoples problems out to see if we can help them. He would do my sisters floors if she asked, he will mow the lawn for my dad, he will fix a co-workers car....He understands a lot of things like I do. We don't gossip and we don't tell people things that are none of their business AND WE BOTH CAN TAKE confrontation me better then him lol. I got cursed at my niece who means the world and I figured out the problem instead of cursing back at her or taking crap out on her or talk shit about her...no no no I said hm a 18 yr old just cursed me out.....Im getting to the bottom of this and someone will pay..and they did...dearly. =) But thats not the point we can bounce back like that...my MIL is still mad at me for my choices I have made and I am mad at her for things from 3 yrs ago. We don't bounce back. Eggs don't bounce and neither do we. ok ok I am totally lame lol but you get what I am saying, I stand for no ones crap so I'm sick of putting on a smile and at times thats with my family too because oh my lord you can cut the tension with a butter knife some days....it might be just someone in a mood or something was said that someone didn't like but blood family deal. In laws... unless they are Leave it to Beavers parents....most in laws could care less. But I do give many credit and again bad mouthing is not happening just explaining the strange sappy post I made the other day,yesterday was just me listening too,to many love songs...lol
I can be an emotional person but I feel like people could have read that and not understood at all,not got that I wrote that from my heart and my feelings and met what I wrote. And when I mean what I write it becomes poemy-sappy crap. =) But most of you really knew something was weighing on me and that it was out of ordinary and things out of the ordinary always need to be checked on even if you have not spoken to that person for a long time or you had a fight yrs ago...the out of the ordinary could be so much more... Suicide rates are up... We need to pay attention to those signs. And you all really did. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It wasn't that troubling as I am a mom but I do worry something will happen to me and no one will ever really know me as a person. Why I like to be called Raven...Why my heart runs wild with love when it comes to dogs....Why in November I am an emotional wreck, Why I love rabbits, Why I cook and clean like the cleavers, Why I strive to be perfect... My photography, my style... so much people might have no clue about... I play dumb about things I know...training a dog...gosh I just play stupid like I know nothing and I've never trained one before...I make comments but claim I never knew that or something...haha good thing I have no family that reads this...they would be on to me and my convos would never be the same haha. I did have a really heart felt talk with someone that actually led me to say I love you like it was saying hello or something...I hate those 3 words.... but she made me say them so easily. I told her all I needed to and walked out,she knew I met every word.  =) Feels good when you can be so honest with someone and so down right loving, down right flat out with them and they really listen. She was raised right and we all are proud of her. No you don't need to know who I'm talking about cuz well frankly sir's and Ma'ams..its none of your business. =) Well its been a good day so I don't want to think about things at all.  I am off to get ready to watch tv with the kids. Hopefully tomorrow will go by fast. And my weekend can begin. Fun fun!
Night folks!