There comes a point where nothing really matters because you start feeling like its all a joke...like people are just telling you what you want to hear. They get defensive when they should be allowing you to get defensive. Questions are still being answered with lies. Truth is being with held.
I for one always believed that when a person is defensive and mad that means they are guilty-obviously not everyone is like that some of us get mad to be even accused of something someone has no proof of. But when you have been put in that spot where there is proof and things are starting to crumble around you but the person you lied too's world is crumbling even worse, its not your duty to make that moment even worse for them. Truth,kindness, guilt, apology, deep meaning, explanations, soft voice.... Fighting and arguing and not lifting that weight off your shoulders is not fair to the person who is hearing all of this and the person who knows what they know and want nothing more then the honest truth.
Even the strongest person can be brought down by lies. It depends on what was done and what was said.
If you feel the need to lie then more then likely you know you were wrong. If you were wrong, why would you do what you did in the first place?
Why are you not acting like a normal human?
Why do we make fun of people who act stupid and brainless but then you act just like them?
Trust is the number 1 thing that can keep people close. It happens with everyone. Trust with your co workers, Trust with your family, Trust with your spouse, Trust with your best friend...Trusting the people around you...Its a every day thing. Its what makes us function.
With out trust you have a stranger relationship, you have that moment where you are feeling a person out only you never get to the point of trust because its no longer there...so you keep fighting and fighting to get there but you never ca... when trust is gone its gone. People think in 2 days you can reverse years of mistrust. People assume because you tell them they can trust you then your going to. If your not god I am not going to just automatically go back to the way things were.
Thats the other thing... if you change things...then don't expect them to go back together perfectly like a puzzle. If you made the mistakes that changed a relationship or something then you can't regain how things were in a day....it might never go back..thats the risk you took to make your mistake, to do what ever you did.
You can't change jobs and just assume things will be as easy as they were at your other job or that your co workers will be as lovely as the ones at your old job...so why would you assume in a committed relationship...things will stay the same after hurt,betrayal,lies,mistakes...Things like that. After time these things effect a person as well. Self esteem, hobbies seem unimportant, Disorders can be caused(if self esteem gets shot then anorexia or depression could arise)Habits can come back to haunt us, decisions become irrational when our thoughts deem us of all the bad from the past or even present, Anger arises with no warning, Tears flow with no explanation that has not been explained at-least once before, thing get repeated because we are testing you to see if your story has changed or we are still searching for answers..the right answers. Everything that was is no longer. All the likes you had no longer exist. Those days without fights don't happen anymore... because anger and hurt don't go away.
Any little hint of a lie blows up to be something huge. That person never quite understands why that happens.
When one is making mistakes they could be planning a surprise, thinking about their family, missing their family....but instead they choose to put you on the back burner so they can mess up.