Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Left out

Seems like all I write is bull crap. Stuff that I shouldn't have to write.

I feel so left out.
I feel like I am not good enough to be someone's entertainment
I feel like someone's going back to their old ways
I feel all my hard work is going down the drain.
I feel alone..
I feel not good enough
I feel like no one will ever care for me in that way I'm searching for
I feel left out
I feel disrespected
I feel like no one knows me
I feel like all my improvement means nothing
I feel like those special moments only met something to me
I feel like those every night things that mean a lot to me mean nothing to others
I feel slightly useless
I feel unwanted
I feel left out
I grow to believe what has been told to me
I grow to believe what my mind says
I learn to ignore what I can
I learn to listen to my heart
but what happens if my heart is just not good enough for some people
what happens if my trying and myself is not good enough
this is me....I will change a little as time goes on....but otherwise this is me
I clean cook nag call talk scream complain compliment try new things have ideas take care of animals love my family ...I listen.. I conquer I learn..I do so much more
those things I look forward too I want to share that with someone
I want someone to look forward to me and those moments as well
I want someone to miss me
Someone to want me
Someone to remember me
If I die tomorrow would anyone notice?
I want people to respect me
I want people to say "Shes all I need"
I want people to trust me
I want it all and more
I want to feel like the only woman he looks at
I want to feel that heart beat every night
I don't want to sleep alone
I dont want to be put last
I dont want to be alone
I don't want.......
what I want...is here
So close....
But so far.....
No one sees my eyes hurt
No one sees my hands shake
No one hears my tears
No one hears my heart break
No one sees my hopes shatter
My dreams break
My future seems so dim
like someone turned off the lights
Someone let me down
Someone wilted my ways before I even got to them
..so much to say so much to think
how can I keep writing through these tears
Tears of happiness tears of pain....
Tears.
I feel left out.....

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