Monday, February 7, 2011

Getting my ducks in a line

Its hard when you are married to someone who does not stick to his own guns let alone yours.
We are still paying his debt but we owe debt together. Thats fine. We got the amount we will be getting back for taxes and its a good amount will help out a lot..problem is he will not stick to a plan to make sure this money goes everywhere it needs to go. Let me go deeper into our life for you.We owe my mom $2500 which we pay back by giving her 500 out of taxes each year BECAUSE thankfully she paid that credit card up so she uses the money for what ever so say we don't pay it does not hurt her credit or her payments or anything. I was going to give 700 this year as a showing we love her and we are trying our hardest. We have a lot to accomplish this year with taxes and its going to be a struggle as Joe is a spender. He can also be selfish. But we wrote down and wanted to stick to a plan well once again I find him creating his own plan and thats beyond pissing me off. BUT I think over all we are still on the same page. We need a second car. We need to pay everything up.We need to put a good chunk in savings. We need to get his credit back up. Well when my mom found out the amount she assumed I would pay back the whole $2500 we owe...I said maybe but we would have to wait and see. The part that bugs me is she always says that would really help us...*sigh* Here we go again...their house is falling down,they have a mortgage when they bought the house cash back in the day....they take from the church. They offer nothing for gas money to us when we come up. They complain about our help. They should not need our money. OF COURSE I would give them it anyway but I am saying being dependent on it is what is holding me even further back from paying her off...what are they gonna do if I pay it up but they are still financially behind and in trouble and stuff next year? Whose money will they depend on then? And I rather not see my parents crash and burn. They made horrible choices. The only brilliant thing is,is she has amazing credit. We do not,another reason we have to depend on cash to prevail us. We want to make a good investment not just a "Oh heres a house and its bigger then what we have so lets buy it" We want something that will go up in price down the road. We want to secure ourselves so we don't end up in our 60's and after retirement in a shelter. It happens so much.
They did not invest in their home to make it better if they had,it would go for a higher price or even quicker. They went into debt. Dad quit work way to early.

This is not Joes fault,he is not creating a monster this is my decision. If Joe and I could sit down and really crunch  numbers and stick to a plan that would help but Joe has decided to be busy the next couple days. He works on cars and even wants a shop of his own YET he travels to peoples houses....so he will miss lunch and time with the family before work tomorrow because he won't put his foot down and have the people come here. Hes nice to everyone but his family its always been like that. Divorce is still in question as I am getting fed up with his habits and his reasoning. Its hard but I deserve better. I can think maturely, I think about others, I know that my kids deserve a nice party. I just never knew Grandparents who have no other grandkids to NOT spoil the ones they have especially if they are their first. My kids are getting the short end of the stick and its getting annoying. His dad bought a truck to cart the kids where they need to go.....he uses it...the kids and I are still stuck at home. So again that was a gift that really went to Joe not the kids. That is wrong. Someone needs to talk to Joe about his issues but instead they feed them and him. I plan on paying back a few of his family members. Thats how I think.
But anyway back to the real issue how can tax money break up so many people. Joe and I are not seeing eye to eye and my mom is not understanding they are feeding off of other peoples money,owed to them or not. If I didnt owe her what is she gonna do this year since they "really need the money" as what she said to me about he money I owe her. ??

So much for one person to deal with. I thought when I got married it was so I could have someone to help me through things.......

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