Thursday, February 17, 2011

My world










We went today thinking it was the kiddos dr appointments..they are on March 17th lol guess we were so anxious to get them in to see how Stefanos speech is and stuff.
Didn't make it to my eye appointment but I need to get to the drs and that hasn't happened,so being on the back burner is normal.
I opened a page for my photography on facebook. I hope it blooms. I did it because I have test shots in my folders and some normal snap shots and I wanted all my pics in one spot. I want to see what I can improve on and motivation to do better.





Joe and I still have a long way to go on the relationship. New stuff keeps coming up and I over-think it or just the fact that he wasn't telling me all of the story back when he got caught. I still feel is always thinking about this co worker..its just a whole big mess and its messing up my life all the way around. I am angry at my parents for just not being there. I am going to make some shots dedicated to a family member because for so many years I blamed this person when I know realize a lot had to do with my mom. I love her but I realize how much she won't put fourth when it comes to family. If she knows I am upset she dont call or visit or really even ask if I am okay. If I wanted to work theres no way in you know what she would watch my kids. She thinks everything I do is basically wrong. She knows nights are hard but she will literally come down during the day instead of coming to visit in the afternoon. Again I love her but shes always saying how people should use their money and they use it wrong and how lucky they are and blah blah but when I stated the same thing about how much our food stamps getting cut ruined our budget and things she kinda rolled her eyes and said "we were there once" or if I bring up how often people leave and have date nights and alone time she says we never had that or some other type of remark that makes me upset. Sorry to vent just been irritable from the lack of love from family. 
And thats why I take photos. To lose myself into another world. Just winter is putting a damper on that.
Ah well my mind is thinking to much and I need to go figure out my thoughts. 
Tootles

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