- You can cut calories by using unsweetened applesauce in baking. For example today my mom made brownies and it was one cup vegetable oil,she put in unsweetened applesauce..Her total savings for her calories was 1820. For 1 tablespoon of oil its 120 calories,theres 16 in a cup that makes 1920. Its 100 calories for a cup of the applesauce.
Still working on things with Joe. Hes still got this attitude thats like DUDE..YOU MESSED UP!!! I still don't trust him at all. ALL of a sudden after 2yrs of not checking his email he is checking it every 5 mins. His excuse? The realtor might email him...this coming from the guy who stays on top of nothing,he don't make phone calls hes suppose too,he does not send things out in the mail when hes suppose too,he does not go too the bank on time....so.. something is off. *bangs head on desk* If its not one thing its another. I think it would be fine if I didn't see him closing out windows. Opening his email when I am away or have my back turned...that stuff is suspicious when you are someone who has failed for 4yrs. Thats suspicious to someone whose had to have her guard up FOR SO LONG! Don't hate because this is the game you chose to play...your dealing with the consequences pal! ..Jeeze since when do I say pal????
Anyways maybe 3 days together will make things better. First he needs to stop being angry and just prove what he needs to and make me feel better -I thought the spouse was suppose to make the other feel better and calm and relaxed not on edge. Its like dude have her email me or have her call lets not do more things to make me doubt everything you say. k? I have all these thoughts and stuff but can't seem to get them out fully. Like with out him being in my mind he won't ever understand.
You can't get mad at someone when they are acting they way they are acting because of your actions or words.End of story.
ON that note. I have found an amazing site full of my favorite thing!!!!!!! Lingerie! Aghhh I am so excited! I want to be like everyone else I know and have a healthy marriage. Is that possible?? Or do I need to marry someone else? Thats up to Joe. I will show him the site and see what he thinks, Mwuhahaha. No need to think of woman as your next one. They are just woman. You can be turned on right in your own house. Compliments are nice too maybe if you give more,he would realize well helloooo I am a lucky man. Some people have said they would go to strip clubs with there husbands because of the nice things they say. Some even said just walking around in underwear and a bra is enough for their man....I think I have a broken man lol Man I dont ever want to sit here and think man I wish I had that in my relationship...I want to BE that relationship. *sigh*
I need a hobby. Theres hope. Theres hope that Joe will be the man of my dreams one day. He is now when hes not making me suspicious and hes nice.. LIKE today I was really crabby and I went and laid down and he came in TO ME not me going in to him and sat down and just let me talk. Felt nice. Felt like he cared. =)
I doubt showing him the lingerie site because its a little explicit I don't want him wanting those woman or going to porn or something...SEE these thoughts should be "Oh hes gonna love picking out stuff for me to buy" "He is just gonna crumble when he sees the stuff I like" "When he sees me in this hes gonna explode!"...ok ok parts of me think that also lol. So I guess were are slowly getting out of the dark area into at-least the gray area where not all of me is suspicious or non trusting. Not all of me is negative thinking. Maybe he will let me have some tax money and just go shopping!!! =)
I am just rambling. How lovely. So I am gonna go now and clear my mind and make sure the next 3 days are to die for. Joe has plans for tomorrow and Friday is lingerie Friday in my house soooo...
haha
Tootles.
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