Saturday, October 23, 2010

Family Drama

Where to start...oh where to start... Well the one thing that bothers a lot of people is when a parent brings their children into something and when they are ages that shouldn't swear or talk to a person they way they did. If you had the problem you talk to me,Yourself.
Second are you delusional? I invited you for memorial or labor day can't remember..so you saw the kids,I went to the parade that you were also at,you were here for my kids birthday party. We were all at some family things this summer..YET you have my son telling my husband and the world that I didn't let you see my kids. Thats how badly you don't know your own sister,half sister but sister nonetheless. I dislike my mother in law(bless her heart as she seems like an angel right now compared to my family) and I have never not let her see the kids,I don't roll that way sweetie. I think that is a cruel way to punish someone. I could hate you and you still could see MY kids because I have control. I know that you and I hate each-other but you don't hate my kids and they don't hate you and I refuse to bring my kids in-between my problems. So from this day on we will never see nor talk to each-other but they will have no idea why or that we hate each other with a passion,although I do not hate you..I just think you have things in your head you can't seem to realize is a made up lie. I didn't get everything growing up but your damn right I got more because times were different. Money was easier on the parents,I was the last child,the technology was easier....Things were completely different when I was a child and when you were a child. And you think thats my fault? You think I came out of the womb saying "I hate Marya" "I will be spoiled so I can ruin Marya's life" Nah you and I both know that. Thats just silly. When you read that you rolled your eyes and huffed knowing that ain't true or could ever be even a possibility.
You are the older one,The older sibling always is in control and bossy. You could have been bossy 15yrs ago and we might have a relationship. Call me up give me a new A-hole if that helps.
I have to point out that when your son or who ever wrote what they did to Joe,was in away trying to look out for me but you can't quite bring yourself to support me or be there for me. You pinpointed that he was no good with finances so somewhere you keep tabs on someone who is dealing with a lot. Why could you have not spoken up? Where was the messages? I remember when you sat down my ex Jeremy and talked to him for me. Like you wanted to make sure I was okay but not disrespect him at the same time. A smart move. This time you just stay behind closed doors and lend no hand,no advice...nothing. Thats not a sister thats an enemy who laughs at the little inch of pain one other might have.
You sit there and you remember who sent you emails begging,pleading,complimenting your butt trying to get you to come to thanksgiving. That wasn't trying? You remember who showed up at a BBQ thinking she was showing she wanted to be family oriented brought the thing you asked us too,I believe it was Ice and then to find out we were not invited.  Yes,thats correct I remember things. How about the sister fight we had in the trailer when I was 14-15 and it was a sibling fight because in the end we sat down and had Black raspberry ice-cream at the time our favorite kinds. Oh yes, the bitch remembers things like that.  Maybe I am not quite as horrible as you thought.
Lets talk about the fact that other people have to tell me what you say about me. I would have NEVER known you liked my photography if our poor mother who has been trying to bring us closer for years hadn't told me. You never once left a comment on them. You never once hit me up in chat. You never called.You never wrote to me. I had no idea you even looked at my photography. Now explain to me why you couldn't tell me that? Explain to me why I have to be the one to call and IM first but when I do I get shunned? Sent you a message explaining myself and how I remember loving these masks you had as a child I thought you were so cool for owning them...and you write back a sentence...well if that don't scream "Stop talking to me". I was planning a fall get together family dinner. I obviously had nothing against ya. I obviously had no reason to completely get cussed out by a 17yr old and a 14yr old. Which by the way folks I have 4 cats and a clean house that shows I do quite well owning pets. =) Although it helps they are outside kitties that come in here and there,they are too cool to be seen at home haha.
Back to seriousness. No lies were told. The truth yes. Lies no. You might never see this as I have no idea where you even think you saw the thing that was written by me according to you last time. Little confused. And let me tell you the day my kid calls their aunt which would be you a bitch they won't make it to see their next birthday but I make sure my kids have respect for family no matter what I would like to say.
Anything else can be said to my face. Words have never hurt my feelings never will. Ask everyone I will always let you have the last word,if you wanna slam a door in my face go for it. I won't block a person,I want ignore a phone call...Thats not me. Because what they might want to say might be whats needed. Tomorrow holds a new thing.
I'm sorry to my 80yr old dad who has to deal with this stress. He brought my siblings into his life with open arms. Never did a thing to harm them. We owe him to act like we love each-other. I know you won't if I know you well enough you have already told either mom or someone close to mom that you won't be attending Thanksgiving. Am I right? Ah thought so. Sad. because when that year comes around you don't have dad or mom,your going to be the one that feels like an ass. And I hate the word Ass but thats what you truly are for hurting Dad. And Mom lets not forget her. Tears were in her eyes when she saw her first grand-daughter talking the way she did to me. She was looking forward to December with her when the two would go to the mall.(A huge cute idea!) and that crashed down on her because you refuse to open up to anyone you refuse to pick up a phone and yell and curse at me herself. Trust me my friends are my friends because they are blunt.
This is how online bullying gets started. What your own flesh and blood did was something that lots of people have committed suicide over. When people try to expose people as something they are not. I guess you missed the whole awareness thing on Wednesday about that. The words she said were some of the same lines said in emails found by parents and police after a student,a child had committed suicide. Its okay to stand up for what you believe and voice an opinion but to do it wrongly,to lie about what the person is like then top if off with I hope "everyone knows.." blah blah is a type of bullying.  I'm sorry that your teaching your kids this.
My kids won't be allowed around that.
There is so much more to say but why? Why say something that might never be read,never understood or never sink in. Taking something seriously and too the heart is the first step. I know you have been like this for years because of your last friend who came and talked me told me these exact words "Hillary,I thank you for coming and staying with us,up until now I had a whole other perspective of how you were based on what your sister has told us..I'm sorry for judging you before I knew you." So I know you have done this before.
Notice I never deleted anything that was said. Never brought anyone into it that didn't need to be. You can not bring me down. You have always done this. You tried to say mom treated Keith better.  And if I ever find out or even start to wonder if that was why what happened September 7th 1990 had anything to do with what you said about him or the parents he loved dearly. You and I will fight like the devil. You were never hated.You were never not favored. And you keep repeating that. You keep repeating that mom and dad didn't like you all stuff you know is not true. You know it by how mom jumps at anything to do with you. Book sale,shop hop or what ever its called,get together,facebook she likes almost everything you write,advice she always responds,stuff for the kids-shes there. More then any of us actually. I have never been to one of R's(Not saying the names of children) plays but how many has mom been too??? How many times has she came over too cook that crap that the three of you like..sammie pea wiggle or salmon pea wiggle???? Who found a ride in an ice storm to make it for one of your childrens births? Uh huh you know who it was. Your mother. Your one and only mother. You can't take back missed holidays when shes gone,you cant say your sorry when shes in a casket(fingers crossed that will be many many years away) You can't call her for advice when shes gone. You have once chance,one mother,one life. Live it right. If your such a good person. Show it. Show it to the person who was fat with you for 9mos. Many men won't even date a woman with kids the fact that Dad did and made sure you guys approved was one hell of a guy still is. Mabel? I believe his little nickname is for you? I know a step dad right now that has nothing to do with his step son. Very sad. He has said before "Ain't my child,so its her(the wife) problems when it comes to him" Thats harsh.
So in conclusion. Sit back put your feet up and tell me when I have EVER done any of these to you:

  • Cursed at you.
  • Told you,You can not see my kids. Me not anyone else but ME?
  • Walked away from you
  • Talked at all the way your kids talked to me,to them.
  • Threatened not showing up to a family function because you would be there
  • Walked into a room and was hostile towards you or your family
  • Judged your children
  • Put you down (I have always bragged about you.) Amazing. Amazing person to raise three kids on your own. Never said any different.
  • Not been there when you have invited me somewhere (I cried at R's 6th or 8th-Might have been both grade graduation damnit)
  • Said I didn't like you
  • Said you were a bad mother.
Again You live once,There's no second chance when death strikes. Don't shed tears when someone is no longer there. Don't grieve for someone who you don't respect.

I can't take back having you in the birthing room with me. I trusted you were honest when you said we would try. I called you to be there. And I know lots of people who wouldn't want siblings seeing there junk.

As you can all see I kinda wrote this like she was going to read it. Doubt she will. Because if she had my blog you would think she would have commented on my posts there were really heart-felt and showed that I needed obviously some guidance and kindness. So I pray that she does not have my blog for the fact that it was yet another way for my sister to contact me and be there for me and she was not. I'd still to this day fight some of the men in her life that I think mistreated her,I'd like to personally put a bullet in ones leg for some of the things he has said about his child and Marya. I can be very protective.
Sorry you all had to see the drama on facebook. I love you all. I love my little family but I also know even on my own I still need my parents. =)
After 2 anxiety attacks and a crying mom and a very angry husband I am hoping this post let out some sadness I feel. Hoping I won't completely go psycho and punch anything now. I almost threw an egg at the neighbor for gods sake,lol he would understand as I warned as many people as I could. Bless their hearts. =)
Still here for anyone else who needs me,just because I'm having a rough time does not mean I can't be someone's ears. =) Like I said I am very protective and don't mind whoopin a$$ and taking names. =)
"When in doubt,Knock em out" Always said that. That has been my trade mark saying along with "When I hit someone I want them to go down like a shot of tequila!" Hence why I work out. haha.

On another note my Mother in law is dropping in town tomorrow. Should be a good day. =)
Tootles!
Some photos once again to show how much I love my family.
My beauties and pride and Joy.

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