Second part of my lovely morning. I stepped outside to breath pretty much and not go manic psychotic on someone and my son locks me out...I knew it was coming but usually he unlocks it...so there I am at 8:30ish am telling my two yr old through a door that I'm gonna call his father and to let me in! *sigh* I know hilarious.
So in any case I went to my moms to do some clean up of their woods and stuff to get some frustration out. Just as our stress level was at its highest...so we thought...it gets worse...!
But I promised you I would share my thoughts on a few things! =)
So my thoughts tend to come from Cosmo because for some reason nothing is off limits. Last month there was new sex positions or something...well there was one that was called "The Naked Chef" hello I'm thinkin..Joe can cook...OOPS not exactly what they had in mind..so you need a table...so then as I'm reading this...I'm thinking "My table will not hold me,where can I find a table!?" lol nymphos think that way my friends...Which brings me to the next topic that was floating around in my head....
Sex on a first date...Now sadly..I've been that girl.But now thinking I realized nothing like tasting the frosting before the cupcake...sex should be for the second date!! haha kidding. I could go on and on. I know its not the right thing,sex should be for marriage...which brings me to my next random thought... People who are dull on purpose when they are married...(Joe if your reading this,get a freaking pen and paper,dude!) God can't possibly judge you for what goes on in the bedroom..or living room or outside by the rabbits cage....what ever so get out the lingerie,get out the fried chicken,porno's,whips,camera..I don't care,live like there is no tomorrow,when that line is usually said people think "Oh,lets go sky diving!" Me I'm going "wheres that chain from the truck?" WHAT!? Okay okay and I hate porno watching as a couple. Its annoying. Are you thinking about her or me? Am I thinking about him or you? See testing the waters with that one. So scratch what I said above but you get what I'm saying. The conservative days were for when you had no boobs and your ass was mistaken for a flat rock. No ones watching. Do what you feel. Embarrassed to put the moves on the man..psh think about all the drunk girls he slept with in college.....mhm. Your thinking now ain't ya!? Okay My hubby never went to college but boy did he date some sluts. I tend to compete with who ever I can,I must top those other girls and I have and I will continue too. SO lets leave the bullshit out Mr.Arbore. Focus on me and only me and maybe you will understand what happy is....WHICH..thats right brings me to the next random thought... Stilettos kept on during sex...is anyone else scared by this thought? Granted I think its freaking sexy...but I would be so nervous that I don't poke someones thigh,eye or what not....
So heres a few questions that got answered in Cosmo that I thought was really kinda...interesting.
*How many calories can you burn having sex?-About 300 per hour... Now..side note...my sex lasts for 20mins usually lol so something is gonna have to change cuz mama's got some fat to burn. =)
*What is the smallest penis ever recorded?-Five-eighths of an inch.-Side note-Hm.........
*Are we the only animals to engage in prostitution?-No. Female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests.----Mental note...Deleted....haha
*Which animal has the longest penis?-The whale. Which has been clocked in at 10ft.----Side note- Holy Sh*t!!
If I could come and type every time I had a thought I would be never leaving the computer. They will get better as I start to write things down and then come and make a blog!haha Anyway tomorrow is FRIDAY which also means I must clean all day...joy. But I am so ready for the weekend even though the stress is still there it feels less stressful somehow. =/
Love you all!
Tootles.
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