Green with envious

I hate feeling envious of others...I don't feel that way often and I never lead on that I do. But it sucks a big one that I can't go out and buy what I want or need. Sucks that my creativity is on hold with photography since I can't afford the camera and accessories I want and know how too use.
I did though get another phone,a camera phone this time. There's a reason for that but we won't go there lol.But its not activated yet and its the first phone its taken this long to activate,not too happy.
Random spewing of thoughts here as I am in a hurry. Another thing that just bugs me is people who don't get what they are doing to the earth...RECYCLE PEOPLE! RE USE THINGS! Get your crap off the ground so the grass can grow,re use water bottles or get a Canteen or plastic re-usable water bottle,use old clothes that you can not donate as dust rags,down grade sponges to the floor or animal cages when they are done with their dish duties..Oh I could go on and on.
Bare with me,my mind is all over the place.
Cleaned the attic today,a tad bit to make some room and organized a little. Got winter jackets down for the kids and Stefano's boots. Still need a lot of winter stuff. Depressing. And I realized I have about 50 sweatshirts/jackets but no long sleeve,wear around the house type shirts....lovely so all winter I'll have to wear a sweatshirt...I hate bulky clothing. I hate feeling like I can't move...I actually am not a winter dresser,you will see me in tank tops and stuff in the dead of winter. I don't wear winter boots unless I am shoveling snow or playing in it. ugh! The things going through my head. Rent is still not paid.
Highlight,This area has not seen horrific storms...My heart goes out to the states that got tornadoes and severe weather a few days ago. Scary. Blessed in that sense. Wish once again I had money,because my ass would be donating left and right to families.
Coffee will soon be my best friend when in my head shit hits the fan.Which will be soon.I'm aware of that.
Good thing,got my depo shot scheduled so another 3 months in the clear.
Love my kids to death but today was a "Lets gang up on mom and dad" day. Getting into everything. Nap time was a success though.
I love my life I just wish my hobbies could be reached,my kids had everything they needed,I had some new clothes,Joe needs some new pants,I wish I had more space to do my hobbies(love making earrings),wish I had a play area so the kids could only play in that area with THEIR toys,I LOVE to clean but right now I just don't have all the stuff I need to keep this place as spotless as I use too.
Its hard to understand poor until your it. People think if you need something you can pull money out your debit card,put it on a credit card,pull it out your butt.... I own no credit cards neither does Joe and my debit card to my account has no money in it. Joes pay check goes towards rent which is still not really that close too paying. So 3 simple things that I need-Pledge,fly strips and winter shoes for Stefano...are all too much for me. Toilet paper....Too much and no money too get it when we run out...Not a Joke.Not a sympathy rant just the facts and I need to write it down and accept it.
I love my life like I said before its just I could love it more if I could do the one thing that brightens my life...provide exactly what my kids need when they need it. =)
I would love to go to wal-mart and pick up what I need and even though no matter what I will always be a deals,price watching,coupon dealing chick...I would like to know I'm not going into debt when I buy the stuff.
*Sigh* life is about struggles and at 22 I'm still learning those struggles but one day I will know wealth and I will give to those who do not. I love donating and I love sharing. I love being apart of something bigger and better. =) I will teach my kids to give and never expect to be given back but when it is to be thankful. =)

Thats my rant...or well maybe just my words of the day. I'm done now. =)
Happy rest of Saturday to you all!
Tootles