Taking the blame

Sometimes you just gotta figure yourself out before things will start to feel normal again..and the last 2-3weeks I have put a lot of it on Joe. I know it really is all his fault because he made my mind think the way it does BUT now its my turn to turn it around so that if Joe does mess up again I won't have spent the few weeks or what ever in between just as angry and upset...That would almost make it seem I was never happy...and that's just not right.

SO Lets talk about the game called life-The next little bit might contain TMI. Again I don't want to offend or even gross anyone out. I love you all too much to scare ya away haha.

Last Night Joe and I finally got that adult time,and you wanna know after-wards what was going through my head??? "Hm where did he learn that?" Then that was followed by the Bill Engvall joke that I have heard a hundred times about the "whatcha learn that from your slutty little girlfriend..."or something along those lines WHICH then was beat out by the Maury show...that's right the Maury show...I have seen this one episode over and over again where the women says her husband or what ever he was was trying to do new sex moves and she was hilarious while she explained it...turned out he was cheating!!!! Ugh! Instead of enjoying the new moves feeling slightly younger and skinny since it was one of those moves you always tend to think your too fat too accomplish. I guess that means my mind might possibly be over exaggerating things which makes me at fault. Unless I'm correct about where he learned it lol. See there goes my mind again. If I weigh what happened..last night was really no concern to worry and today I should just enjoy it.

Suppose to be going for my Depo shot tomorrow but since Joe is doing some sort of training its getting pushed back so I hope its not busy in there. I was just thinking about that,How would Joe react if I had my period again...now before he hated it..now it wouldn't matter because we only have sex every 6 days and my period was always 5 so I'm all set.  Not that I can't please him during the time of the month...but again realizing every angle of what I'm thinking...someone women have bad cramps,bad emotions...etc so who wants to please a guy then??? I don't,I have cramps the first day then its all good. I'm actually in the category of the ones they talk about in Cosmo..I am more "Happy" during that time then usual. So,Joe really does not lose out on much when I did have it. Which brings me to a question someone sent me 3 days ago I believe and forgot I got it,they were really nice about it even though the question is a little BAM out there..

How did you manage to go weeks without sex after your kids if your such a sex addict?- WOW,Not really a sex addict thanks,and second I waited I wanna say 1-2weeks or maybe the recommended 3...not sure but I didn't go that long because I know my body and I'm not one that's shy during the deed so if it hurt I would have told him and that be it. I was not scared to have it after a birth. But that's me. I'm a toughy! =) Thanks for the question though it was fun to think about and answer!

I also have noticed I am grumpy lately so that would cause some of the tension in the house,once again something that's my fault. How many guys get horny over grouchy gals? Not many. How many guys get attitudes when their hunny is grumpy? A lot. So that explains some things.

Ooo boy is it fall! Leaves are falling,leaves are changing,anytime my cats walk around outside now you can hear the crackling of leaves. Simply lovely.
Want to know what else is lovely? The fact that my son slept through the night last night and didn't need Joe to get him to sleep first,he fell asleep in his crib by himself and stayed asleep. I'm wondering if it was something as simple as a tooth or constipation maybe. I feared bad dreams or out growing his crib...but not sure.
My parents went to the Big E today. Huge thing in Mass,Big ol fair like thing. I went twice I believe but now with Joe its hard to go to Mass with him for reasons. Actually he won't go to Massachusetts at all.Bummer.
Like October 3rd is a get together at my what I call Aunt and Uncles because they are like family because there's a fall parade that goes by their house. Kids first parade,time with family,Joe gets to know areas I use to visit & over all a fun time! But he won't go to Mass. Its just right in North Adams...Maybe I can convince him,I REALLY wanna go!

My picture taking is taking different turns,and I'm loving it. Just need that better camera lol. I love doing portraits,I remember taking the one of my Aunt,granted it wasn't set up to be like a portrait but she looks so beautiful in it I call it a portrait. (I will post below.) I'm doing a tad bit of editing but a fun edit not a taking what nature offered and changing the colors or anything like that.I take a shot that's semi okay...what made it okay was the shadows behind it and turned it into something way cool.

I liked how it came out!

Well I should probably go and tend to the kids messes they have created since I started writing this lol. It will be nap time soon or some days its just quiet time. Like now I can tell they are tired because hes just laying down sucking his fingers and shes being obnoxious which is not normally like her.

Needs to be cropped and stuff. Like I said not a portrait but I love finding the right angles to flatter people,the right backdrops,the right light...Love portraits.

Throwing this in to show I am trying and I will stop nagging and being negative and just wait and see what the future holds..maybe he will change this time..for good... =) Although I look a little mean in that shot...hehe.

Tootles!